God's Plan

I love my job.  It is not what I thought I would be doing when I was a kid.  At first, when I was very small and in Miss McConnell's dance school, I thought I would be a ballerina.  Then, I realized my true calling was movie star.  Every day of my life was an act...I acted like nothing was wrong and everyone believed me.  I used to practice my Oscar speech over and over.  It was so humble yet profound.  Then, in high school, I realized I had to DO something so I figured I would be an artist.  I had lots of natural talent and always drew.  I have a good eye and it was easy for me.  Unfortunately, I was too into the party and not the study and college dropped away, just like all of my childhood dreams.  Lost in the 70's, like many of use were then, I waitressed.  It was good money.  I partied and worked and smiled at the rude people who expected the world for a 50¢ tip. I had to migrate.  Knowing I was too hyper to sit still and that I needed to make a living AWAY from small town USA, I joined the Navy and became a metal worker.  Loved it, made money at it and when I left the USN I got a job making good bucks.  I could weld ANYTHING because I understood heat (having been a fire bug from way back) and was a hard worker.  Then along came my sons.  I stayed home with them (thank you God) to raise them and be with them and give them every little bit of love and life and whatever it is that Mom's give to son's and I worked so hard to not make the mistakes my parent's made and to give them all the good things that my parents gave me.  Then I had to go to work.  I prayed.  I went to nursing school. 

All of this, all of the false careers that were mere blips in His true intention for me, all of this and I really, really love my job.  Thank you God, you have been faithful and true while I have been skeptical and unbelieving.  I hated you for letting me be so hurt and destroyed (the suffering made me a more compassionate nurse).  I learned how to act like I wasn't dying inside ( that made me a rock of a  nurse).  I feared that You would see how rotten I felt (That made me a humble nurse).  I felt I had to do it all myself (that made me an efficient nurse).  I learned how to trouble shoot (that made me understand the human body).   I mothered (what patient doesn't need a little motherly love?).  I doubted you but You never doubted me.  You had a plan.  You always do.